Reflection

And this worldly life is not but diversion and amusement. And indeed, the home of the Hereafter - that is the [eternal] life, if only they knew.

There are times, (many times) that i wish for this and that,

a bigger house; perhaps a Semi-D?, 

a cooler car; perhaps a Q5 or Evoque?

more and more handbags; Prada, Chanel, Dior.

a luxury vacation around the world,

a business class air trip instead of economy.

a fancy meal at fancy restaurants,

a Boogaboo for that little one,

a Louboutin, Ferragamo and Tods'

a Laura Ashley for the Home Sweet Home'

the latest iPad, with MuiMui casing

and the list go on.

it will never end.

Lately, 

When i think of all the materials things i want,

i start to think of the Hereafter.

of Death.

and then i would feel grateful.

Alhamdulillah.

Praise to Allah.

for giving me everything.

i have a wonderful Husband, a beautiful daughter,

a loving mother and father.

a family.

and amazing friends.

i have a home, a job that i actually enjoy,

a car that i can use to get me places,

everything that i need.

Alhamdulillah.

i started to realize.. my life on this earth is short.

all the things i want are purely materials.

they are not real.

i can never feel fulfilled.

it can never be enough.

reasons after reason will come to cloud my thinking,

i will never be satisfied.

when i think of death, i began to shiver down my spine.

death

im scared of death.

the thought of being all alone.

somewhere.

no one can help me.

no one can see me.

no one can hear me.

im dead.

im scared.

really scared.

like death is coming for me now

and i am not prepared.

will i ever be prepared?

it doesnt matter how big my house is

cos in the end, its 6foot down under where i will be.

it doesnt matter whose brand im wearing

cos in the end, it's the white cloth that covers me

it doesnt matter what car im driving

cos in the end, people carry me down in the coffin

it doesnt matter how many designer handbags i could own

cos when im dead, my deeds are my own

it doesnt matter how big my salary is

cos in the end, the rewards from Allah is most important.

it doesnt matter what the world has to offer,

cos in the end. the world will end.

and i will be at lost.

death is certain and it is certainly scary.

God, i wish i can be His faithful servant.

so many times i slip and so many times i turn back to Him.

somtimes i wonder, did He hear me?

Did He accept my repentance?

the world is indeed a challenging place to live.

so full of interesting offers.

im trying to fight, trying to abstain

to me, i remind myself: 

Death is near. what have i done as a preparation?