Friday, September 4, 2015

the Unpaid Leave

i decided to go for unpaid leave. 
i applied for 1 month, but projecting to be back to work earlier than that.
too many issues/meetings to attend.

i just wanted to rest. take the time off works and driving.
this time around the vomiting and nausea were not as bad as before.
Ayra's time was much much worse. i could not drink nor eat anything.
they ended up making me vomit so bad.

however, this time, the trigger was motion. driving itself is a motion.
when i drive to work, i end up vomiting as soon as i arrive. 
i cannot travel far.
Hub cannot send me to work cos his started much earlier.
when i started to vomit, the rest of the day would be hay wired.
i could not concentrate much into work.
i become sooo tired that all i want to do is to sleep.

i dont feel the blessing there.
with highly paid salary, and so low quality of work, i felt so guilty.

alhamdulilah my boss was understanding.
i find that male boss can be understanding when it comes to pregnancy.
in his case, his wife had a very bad sickness too. so, he totally gets it.
 Image result for morning sickness
so, today is the 3rd day being at home.
early morning i send Ayra to school as usual. less than 1 minute driving.
Amna to Nena's house.
then off i go to rest. sleep. read.

i am so happy to be able to read in peace.
and to read as many books as i can.

reading give me solace.
ideas. inspirations.

i am taking this break to think about the future.

soon, by will of Allah, we are going to have the 3rd one.

and.. we feel so bad letting Mom to take care of them while we are at work.
i myself will be a flat case when i jaga the two girls.
i cannot imagine mom with 3!

she is getting older, and she should be able to rest more.
live more.
learn more.

that's why, by looking at the circumstances, i have to reroute my future.

and having said that, i need to actively find a solution to my cashflow.

badly.

im stepping up my researches and contacts. 
explore. 
i have no choice. for the future, i must take the risk.
i must be brave to explore. 

and be positive.


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