When you have someone new coming into your little family, aka the birth of a new baby, of course everybody would be thrilled and happy and all, including your children.
But that doesnt mean they don't get jealous.
Jealousy is the difficult part to handle. As a mom.
Ayra had her fair share of green eye moments when Amna was born.
She would come and snuggle with me right when I wanted to nurse her little sister back then.
Well, same goes to Amna now.
She would come and snuggle right when Amal needs to be fed.
and sleeping time involves me patting her with one hand and the other holding Amal while trying to steady myself nursing her.
and she cries a lot to lately. seeking attention ler tu..
and owh, that was nothing.
When Hub went outstation when we were 2 weeks in confinement, I had to entertain 3 babies altogether. the most difficult part was to putting them to sleep altogether.
one hand must scratch Ayra's leg, another is to Amna.
while putting Amal on the lap and making sure she didnt wake up cos, well, if she wakes up then all my hands go to her alone. if that happens, the her 2 big sisters will throw tantrum from being sleepy.
and at that moment (or even now), I wish i have 8 arms.
If their grandmother/s is/are around, Amna would go to them and be manja manja and all.
She didnt even bat an eye to me.
okay, mommy got jealous too.
but I guess that's her way of coping with this new life and new baby.
She doesn't hate Amal at all.
In fact she loves kissing her and playing with her.
whenever Amal cries, Amna will quickly call me and show my boobies. She knows adik needs milk.
I learn to spend about 15 minutes at night to sing with her, all her fav songs.
hug her at any time that I have. kiss her lots and lots.
Ayra too. but hers is quite different. Now that she is sooo talkative and talking non stop all day long,
i need to make sure her voice is heard.
and hug and kisses.
and Thank Allah for their father!
savior to my insanity.
really, I cannot do this without him.
jealousy is quite normal.
but how we are handling it as a parent is important.
a. we must never show more love towards the other. treat equally. never show favoritism. how would we feel if our parents dont favor us? I never want any of my child to feel unwanted. please God no.
b. explain to them that we need to tend to the little one because adik is still small and needs to drink milk from mommy. once she is bigger she can play with you.
I am pretty sure they can understand even though they might show a different reaction initially.
c. patience on the parents' side is also important. i failed this many many time during this confinement period. with the heat, the hormones, the lack of sleep, the tiredness, the breast soreness. I am only human. the flawed one that is. so i tend to lose it and regret it every time. so, dear me, patience. patience.
d. Hugs and kiss them as much as u can in a day. just take a minute or two, and say
"Come and let me hug you. i just wanna hug you.."
then you hug them as long as u can. hug them as if you are going away.
that meaningful hug. the hug that tells them you are always here for them.
and give them sloppy kisses everywhere!
e. spend like 15 minutes or more if u can, just the 2 of you. talk, sing, chat, play.
anything they want to do with you. as long as they are happy. then back to nursing mode.
f. if you are good in multitasking, then great. lay down together, with the baby on your lap and the toddler on your right. put them to sleep like they want to.
g. as soon as this confinement is over, I need to take two half day off from the baby. to spend a quality time with each of them. need to Amna and Ayra for a bonding session, one on one. typical idea is to bring each to the mall and have lunch, buy something nice and be happy. and only talk about them. not the sisters.
okay, baby is screaming now.
back to boobie mode.
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