i like.,.

Hubby is back!! after 3 looong days of separation... (gediks, i know!)

he had to go away for kursus that he is not even in charge of. but then again, it's the gov. biasala. that typical kursus2 thingie. the wife and daughter would have followed if not because the wife had teachings and what not to do. haih...  really multitasking la this worker. ajar student from unis. haiyooo.like im so good. just hope i dont teach ajaran sesat. kehkehkeh

that 3 days, Ayra and I stayed in Nena's house. ayra was such a good girl. no crying. no clinging too much. she seemed to be so well mannered when she's at Nena's house. unlike when she is with her parents back at home! she would go all clingy and needy. especially with her dearest Mommy. and...because of that.. i cannot do a lot of stuff. i have to wait when she's asleep to do what i need to do.

lately she is becoming more and more clingy towards me. when i had to work at night, (10pm till next morning), she would throw tantrum at her Ayah. she wouldnt want to minum susu. she'd cry and cry. till she fell asleep. poor baby.. i wish i could be there with her instead. but a job is a job even though i dont enjoy it.

every time i had to do oncall, i would be so desperately wanting to quit from the gov sector. it is just so not worth it. dont get me wrong. the salary is quite okay. but the calls. really2 tiring. and not get paid. huh.

i will not into details on that.

lately ive been wondering and thinking ...and thinking again about our future. can i see myself being in the gov sector for the next 10 years? no. can i tahan working with certain types of people? no. can i tahan more and more oncalls???? definitely no!

so, how do i see myself as? a mother. that's for sure. i can see myself being a fulltime mother for my children (ehem), but at the same time i am a proud owner of something. something? yes that is the big Q. what is that something??? i dont know where my passion lies. i like this and that. but no definite passion.

i love cooking. i think that is one of them. yes i love cooking and baking. i admit, i think they are quite good (sorry, i am in the trolley, pls push me.hehe). but to do more with cooking and baking is... let's just say im not that confident. no energy.
 i like numbers. what to do... can i sell numbers??? eh mcm jual toto pulak. haha

other than that? still yet to find. im not a make up person. i hardly put on any. and i dont want to be so make-up-py. i dont know how and im not willing to learn. its just not my thing.

fashion? it seems overrated nowadays. like it but there are limitations. like..how i dont know how to sew!

so..see? how can i not be in dilemma.

so what do i like?

of all the things i that i can think of.. one thing for sure:
i always see me in Cayenne. or Q5.

entering the dream mode now..