So what have I been up to

I haven't been writing for weeks.

Things have been...difficult.

Now I am at home. Alone. On Monday.

Trying to relax..

Few weeks after coming home from Umrah had been great.

We went for a short trip to Genting Highland and Bukit Tinggi.

Such a pleasure to see Ayra playing with rabbits. And getting along with nature.

(The pics are in Hub's phone.)

So what happened then?

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

I am expecting. Again.

I am now..inshallah.. About 7 weeks along.

And things have not been easy for me nor my family.

As usual, the 'ritual' began.

The morning sickness. Or should I say whole day sickness.

The nausea. The vomiting.

The hospitalisation.

The drips.

The emotional roller coaster.

On and on..

However, Alhamdulillah.. I have to say that this is not as bad as Ayra's.

The first one was even more terrible. 

Talk about eating everything and vomiting them all out in minutes!

I even took a whole month holiday just to stay home

And be alive. 

Hahaha

This time around, yes, I do feel all those.

But what makes it more difficult is that I have a toddler around.

She needs my attention. My affection. My time.

Unfortunately I am too absorbed being tired from all the 

Vomiting and throwing up.

I even got angry towards her. 

Only Allah knows how bad I feel.

At times, I just want to be alone.

But I miss her so much. Her cheekiness. Her loveliness.

I want to be with her but at the same time I want her to be... Quiet.

Which is of course impossible.

She is a growing toddler who likes exploring new things.

Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah. 

HUb has been sooo helpful.
i am so lucky to have him as my husband.
sometimes i wonder what good have i done to deserve him.

he has been doing ALL the houseworks. including cooking. and taking care
of Ayra. he bathes her. feed her.play with her.
And what do I do? Sit and lay.

I feel terrible for not being able to function as before.
Of course, it's nice being treated like a queen. But..
It also hurts that I am not helping much around the house..

I really do hope that Allah will not let me bear this for too long.
I need to be strong for my husband and daughter.

Till then.. Another trip to the loo!