How do i do this

She is fine and happy.
As usual.

It's me who is not fine.

I have headaches and migraine.
Im afraid my bp is going up from all the stress. Her health. Works. Datelines.

I cannot stop thinking and analyzing. And the 'what if' of 1001 possibilities.

Whenever i look at her, im..at peace.
When i start to think, i get emotional.

I dont want to have fun without her,without them.
I feel guilty if i do. As if im not doing a good job as a mom. U know, mom should worry alot. As if i dont yet.huh

Work can take my mind off the anxiety but when the org ats is asking too much out of me, i get all fed up. Like i want to stop everything and just be with them. The children of cos.

Sometimes i wish i can be stay at home mom. But..am i fit for that? It is a tough job. Tougher than doing what im doing.

I dont know how to contain my thoughts. And anxiety.

I am.... Uncontrolled. My thoughts are scattered and shattered.