of 3 months away

ive been trying to steal some time to blog. i kept postponing it until it was almost 3 months later.

really? 3 months just flew away?

we are done with Puasa, Raya and soon Raya Haji is coming.

Puasa was the most tiring of all. that explained why i didnt have the time to blog!

if i were to grade myself for that Ramadhan, i would give myself 4 out of 10. 

as the previous Ramadhan, i didnt get to perform tarawikh in surau or masjid. 

i did it on my own every night. and to add the shame, 2 rakaat.

i was like a drugged person immediately after magrib. not like we ate a lot. 

i guess the hormones of breast feeding mom, plus taking care of 2 more. 

we had our first raya in my gramma's place in Klang. we travelled back to Terengganu on the second day. the children forgot about me when we were there. Mommy is only needed at night. or for meals. 

so that left me some space to breathe. hahaha. not! dont forget the baby. 

so how is Lil' Tummy doing now? how long has it been now? almost as old as Amal i.e: almost 6 months.

it is doing okay. for a new start up. but not as good for post 6 months start up.

i could have been more aggresive but my kids are keeping me busy as well.

nonetheless, Lil' Tummy has 2 agents now: in Kota Bharu and KL.

I am looking to spread the wings to other states as well. and there have been queries, but we have yet to start anything yet. the time will tell.

as for cooking, i have experimented with other elements as well. i have eliminated the not so popular dish and added in more. thanks to Amal for her tongue. hahah. 

i've started her solid a lil bit early. 5 and hlaf months. only like once a day meal. and small one. like a cube per day. she seemed to like it. 

i have big plans for LT. big dreams. Oh my.

and now i am doing something something and hopefully Allah ease my way. 

it wont be easy, i know. after all, we are just starting out. 

anyway, the kids just recovered from cold flu cough and fever. and i have been exhausted ever since. i didnt have enough sleep cos Amal was like waking every few hours and cranky all the time. it wnet on for about 2 weeks. i was seriously tired. i cried in the bathroom cause i felt so bad for feeling that and i wanted a time on my own. i want a me time. a ME time.

a time to enjoy my own company. to check on myself. to know that I am still there. 

being a mom is of course the greatest thing ever. but I dont want Me to disappear. do u get what i mean?

i have dreams. i have visions. again, my dreams being the best mom is always the priority. but the other side of my dream is to work for what i want out of this life. do something good for me. for others. 

i want my children to be proud of my accomplishment, other than being a mom. 

i want to feel inspired.

i hope i am to the track.

and dear Allah, please, please ease my way.

ps: i need a spa. whole day spa. with massage and body scrub and facial and etc. i think that is... impossible since my boobies refilled so fast that i find pumping tedious. 

i hope to be able to blog more!