Of A B C D

I am intrigued by this.

it got me thinking.

If I were to choose, I will definitely choose A, C and D.

Why A?

Oh dear should I say why??? Of course the vomiting and nausea and the tiredness and the backache, headache, stomache. Hyperemesis is the worst! and mine did not help but to hang around until my third timester. Alhamdulillah the third pregnancy was not as bad as the first or the second. but regardless, I am forever traumatized by this. with the needles and drips. and my most important thing to carry everywhere: plastic bag. It was my BFF. heck, it replaced my handbag!

I couldnt travel a lot. All i could do was curled up on my bed and sleep. and I missed eating. I craved eating. anything as long as I could eat. 2nd and 3rd pregnancy was not as bad, but it was still part of the journey. but seeing your child/children and husband being neglected was a very very bad feeling. I felt soo bad that I could not entertain them much, being a mom and a wife. really, I felt so bad.  

on the bright side, I did lose weight. a lot. I ended up with few weight gain, usually about 10kg or less. that was my proud moment. haha (but baby fat is still here though, darn it)

What about B?

Labour is of course painful. I would be mad if I say it did not hurt. I am no bionic woman people.

But Alhamdulillah, I tend to..forget them. u know, like a short term memory. 

probably that's why i have 3 children now.

the feeling of the baby coming out and gulppppp. suddenly the pain stops. 

when the baby cries, suddenly the pain is gone.

that is the perks of giving birth without painkiller. (haha)

Why C & D?

ok, breastfeeding was kind of easy for me for the second one. i had no engorgement issue.

but the first, and the third, it was a bit difficult. 

for the first child of course being a new mom, i didnt have much clue on the real bf situation. i did read a lot on BF during pregnancy but the experience itself is different. the first one was more on milk supply issue. this third one is more on latching issue. her latching caused nipple pain and a lil bit of bleeding. crazy okay. but Alhamdulillah, we are over that now. hopefully.

then there's the almost hourly feeding which leads to sleep deprivation. 

having 2 kids and an infant with u having not enough sleep is really something else. it's like your energy bar is almost zero. u tend to be easily pissed, moody and crying in the middle on the night. 

almost crazy. 

but, nothing beats the look of your child. when u look closely at the helpless body, screaming for your very own attention, u just melt. and then u realize, she will grow out of it and eventually no longer needs u like she does now. u will no longer be her only thing. 

when that time comes, u will long for this crazy moments. 

and u melt and move on with all the energy left in u. 

#eatenergybar

   

Pre Birth Short Gateaway

One of our pre-birth rituals would be to go somewhere where we can relax and enjoy before Mommy pops out and sleepless pantang session comes in.

We went to Penang prior the 1st birth.

and we went to Andaman Langkawi prior to the 2nd birth.

For the 3rd one, we didnt go far. we stayed really really close.

Like, 15 minutes drive from home. 

We went to Holiday Inn Glenmarie.

Why on earth did we do that?

What happened to our so called long distance trip?

Well, Hub was really really busy. He could not take days off. and the only holiday we got was the public holiday, which was Chinese New Year at that time. and for us to travel out of KL during CNY is like asking me to forever sulk and asking me to turn into a monster throughout the trip. 

I dont deal with traffic jams well. I mean it. I will become irritated and moody and wanting to scream to everybody in the car. and for me to scream to my 2 daughters, who can be pretty handful during a long trip, will not be nice.

And I was about 33-34 weeks pregnant at that time.

Hence, the short vacay to Holiday Inn Glenmarie.

picture from Google

It was surprisingly a nice play to stay. 

Even though it was located in Glenmarie, it was however quite secluded from the business venues and all. There were not many people there (CNY, people go out of KL kan?) and very green. It was just next to the Glenmarie Golf and Country Club. So you can see green golf course everywhere. 

very peaceful indeed.

We didnt feel like we were in Shah Alam at all. 

The pool was quite okay.

Ayra and Amna enjoyed it so much. So did their father.

They haven't been to the pool for quite some time. 

That's why we wanted to be some where they can get their swimming skills on again.

It was lovely to see them having so much fun swimming. for hours. 

until kecut all fingers and toes!

the Allday sickness

i just love this picture, that i have to post it again:

 

i have it all day!

as usual.

i have identified few triggers that made me..vomit.

1. chicken

what? no chicken? fine by me. 

but i cannot say no to the kulit ayam original KFC.

that is just sooo yummy.

other than that, chicken is a no no.i hope this is just a 1st trimester phase.

or does the baby hate chicken?

 

2. driving

now how can i move about if i cannot drive?

that's why the unpaid leave.

i think i am quite okay being chauffeured, provided i close my eyes and the 

children behave. no jumping in the car etc.

they can be good at times, or Amna crying all the way throughout the journey, being placed in the car seat. i just have to close my eyes, zikir, and pretend to be deaf.

3. durian

i just had one ulas. it seemed fine. tasty.

until i vomited it out. oh man the smell,the taste.

that was the last one. no more. until i am pregnant free.

4. smell

any smells.

wangi or busuk.

no cooking. no frying. no smell of perfume, or powder, or sweats.

the girls can be so masam and i will be like..go batheeeee before hugging me.

5. tea

no tea. i become gassy. and bloated. then vomit.

i miss tea though.

what more? i cannot remember.

but one thing i cannot resist is:

 

i crave for this whenever i am pregnant.

and now i am again.

the Unpaid Leave

i decided to go for unpaid leave. 

i applied for 1 month, but projecting to be back to work earlier than that.

too many issues/meetings to attend.

i just wanted to rest. take the time off works and driving.

this time around the vomiting and nausea were not as bad as before.

Ayra's time was much much worse. i could not drink nor eat anything.

they ended up making me vomit so bad.

however, this time, the trigger was motion. driving itself is a motion.

when i drive to work, i end up vomiting as soon as i arrive. 

i cannot travel far.

Hub cannot send me to work cos his started much earlier.

when i started to vomit, the rest of the day would be hay wired.

i could not concentrate much into work.

i become sooo tired that all i want to do is to sleep.

i dont feel the blessing there.

with highly paid salary, and so low quality of work, i felt so guilty.

alhamdulilah my boss was understanding.

i find that male boss can be understanding when it comes to pregnancy.

in his case, his wife had a very bad sickness too. so, he totally gets it.

 

so, today is the 3rd day being at home.

early morning i send Ayra to school as usual. less than 1 minute driving.

Amna to Nena's house.

then off i go to rest. sleep. read.

i am so happy to be able to read in peace.

and to read as many books as i can.

reading give me solace.

ideas. inspirations.

i am taking this break to think about the future.

soon, by will of Allah, we are going to have the 3rd one.

and.. we feel so bad letting Mom to take care of them while we are at work.

i myself will be a flat case when i jaga the two girls.

i cannot imagine mom with 3!

she is getting older, and she should be able to rest more.

live more.

learn more.

that's why, by looking at the circumstances, i have to reroute my future.

and having said that, i need to actively find a solution to my cashflow.

badly.

im stepping up my researches and contacts. 

explore. 

i have no choice. for the future, i must take the risk.

i must be brave to explore. 

and be positive.

Aim for the Day

i would like to whine and whine and whine. 

about how tired i am and how this pelvic pain is bothering me and so on.

but let it be just that 2 sentences above. 

i woke up with a heavy feeling (as usual) but new target in mind.

to grab myself a burger for lunch today.

that is my aim for the day.

i am distracting my mind from the constantly playing question, which is;

when are u coming out baby?

it's 37 weeks and u know what, your kakak came out during this time of pregnancy. 

how i wish my tummy is as clear as this. pffft. this is all make up people!

ok, so let's forget about this. 

or i'll get frustrated waiting for the baby to come but she doesnt.

owh, have i told u it'll be a she?

yes, insyaallah we are expecting another girl in the house.

 

truthfully, i really dont mind. having girls really brings me joy.

i love their manja-ness and politeness and girliness.

and how we can share cooking, baking, combing hair, putting on hair clips, dancing and singing. 

the dancing and singing part is the best. she likes to hold our hands (especially her ayah's hand) and starts to twirl. oh such a joy. 

and we get to play dress up. well,  not really dress up. but she does have a certain taste in clothing if i let her choose. and she likes to choose her ayah's baju too. somehow it matches. 

Ayra will be a loving sister. i know she will. she has such a pure heart.

having girls is not a tougher job than having boys.

nowadays, both genders are equally challenging to raise.

it is up to us how we see the blessing that Allah has bestowed upon us.

both have their own challenges that need special attention to. 

"Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach adulthood - he and I will come (together) on the Day of Resurrection - and he interlaced his fingers (meaning in Paradise)." 

(Reported by Muslim)

 

"Whoever has three daughters or sisters, or two daughters of two sisters, and lives along with them in a good manner, and has patience with them, and fears Allah with regard to them will enter Paradise." (Reported by Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhee and others)

“He who is involved (in the responsibility) of (nurturing) daughters and is generous to them, will have them as a fortification for himself against the Hellfire.” (Al-Bukhaari & Muslim)

source: islamweb

ok, now back to the food.

i am aiming for a black pepper burger today.

i want the Prosperity Burger by McD.

but i have succesfully detoxified my body from McD product for almost 2 years.

due to Palestine issues.

so i dont want to break my stand just because im craving for it.

so where shall i get the best Black Pepper burger today?