40degree

I am in a hospital now. Amal has been warded due to high grade fever.

She has been unwell for the past one week. On and Off fever, with PCM twice daily.

we initially thought she was teething, since she showed no other symptoms.

but we had to bring her to the hospital when she was different that one night. 

she was nursing, then she stopped. she was quiet, but awake.

her breathing was like a lil bit rapid, but her eyes showed weakness. 

her head was burning hot, yet her feet and hands were cold as ice.

she started to tremble. her lips shook hard. 

i never seen anything like this in any of my children.

we just had to bring her to the hospital.

upon arriving, her temperature reached 40 degree celcius.

imagine that! 

she vomited and became so weak.

she had her blood checked and WBC was 28. it was so high!

her lymphocyte was high as well: 50.

doctor suggested for her to be admitted. 

it has been 2-days now and she showed no signs of improvement despite oral Augmentin given.

but it has been only 2 doses so we should wait eh?

hopefully it is nothing bad.

Old & Spine

My back hurts.


sob sob


I fell down right on my butt when I was pregnant with Amal..which was about 5 or 6 months pregnant I think. at that time. OMG it hurt so much but I couldnt do anything much about it. 

I just had to bare with the pain or took PCM at most. 

It hurt so bad that sometimes I cried wanting to sleep.
I could not find the best position for my own body. 

I always thought it was the baby being big and all, and that pregnancy backache
was hitting its role.

really guys, it was really bad. 

Every turn was painful!

Come confinement, it turned out ok. finally! I thought.

fast forward 4-5 months after, the pain came again. 

and this time, it brought along numbness and tingling of the right leg. 

and at that time I was like, why do I feel so old.

i cannot stand or walk too long. 

even cooking wearies me down. 

and Amal is growing up too fast, a kilo per month, and that leaves me even in more pain. 

hahahahahha

(but Alhamdulillah she is healthy and active) 

am I aging that fast already???

again, I thought it was just part of the parcel of growing up. coz, well, I am 32.

I googled about the symptoms. (cause that's what we patients do nowadays)

it mentioned something to do with the spine. 

I didnt do anything much bout it and just hoped it went away.

Until one day, I couldnt take it anymore, that I asked Hub to take me to see an ortho surgeon, specialing in spine. I had to undergo an MRI to see or confirm the spine etc. 

and yup, the result came back, with involvement of the spine. but lucky me, it wasnt thatttt bad.

(but sure hurt like hell)

the fluid in one of the lumbar was empty, which was at L5. and it could have happened when I fell down that one fine day. the other discs were thankfully was ok so it will not involve surgery whatever. 

Alhamdulillah!

But really, knowing the cause was not going to make the pain go away. 

I cannot take pain meds all the time. come on I love my kidney.

moreover, I am allergic to common NSAIDS and stronger pain meds are not suitable for breastfeeding.

doctor suggested that I undergo a minimally invasive procedure that can relieve the symptoms
and take off the pain. If only I cannot function well. 

after about 2 months of trying to suck it in and move on with my life, I went to another doctor and agreed to undergo that procedure. This doctor is the best in carrying out the procedure. He has done it so many times. 

When it comes to the spine and what it could do, I really need only the best to do it. 

So now I am home. It was done last week and my legs hurt much less. 

It could not give 100% cure definitely. but any improvement was an Alhamdulillah for me. 

but it wasn't very long hahaha

supposedly I cannot do much work. well, isn't that a dream right for every mom!

i just hope i can stand longer, walk longer. 

i need to try yoga!

What would my pantang be without jaundice

What would my pantang be without jaundice?

Incomplete. It is like a part of the package. my package. 

wuhuuu lucky me.

--_--

The 2 big sisters had jaundice, so what are the chances this little one has one too?

very very likely.

Not only jaundice, prolong jaundice lagi tu okeh.

So there goes my strict pantang again. 

with the check ups and walking and whatnot. 

Well, at least I am not totally confined in the room or the house.

One way of being positive about this eh??

Ayra and Amna had prolonged jaundice. Alhamdulillah, they were only breastmilk jaundice, which is harmless. Other likely factors had been ruled out such as, UTI, liver issue, thyroid disease, etc. 

Basically, prolonged jaundice is when the jaundice lasts longer than 14 days of life, in term infants.

Prolonged jaundice can be due to factors such as:

• Infection - eg, urinary tract infection.
• Hypothyroidism, hypopituitarism.
• Galactosaemia.
• Breast milk jaundice: the baby is well and the jaundice usually resolves by six weeks but occasionally continues for up to four months.
• Gastrointestinal (GI): biliary atresia, choledochal cyst, neonatal hepatitis
• http://patient.info/doctor/neonatal-jaundice-pro

So, further tests on the baby's blood and urine will be carried out to rule out such causes, and finally we can settle with Breastmilk jaundice, or breastfeeding jaundice.

Those 2 terms are different. 

Breastmilk jaundice is due to the content of the mother's milk. Nope, it is not poisonous nor that it will harm your little one. The actual cause is not clearly understood, but theoretically, it contains an element which interferes with the enzyme that changes excess bilirubin in the blood to a form that is to be eliminated from the body. The elements does not stop the enzyme, but slows down the process. eventually, the excess bilirubin will be eliminated from the body, as the baby's liver matures. 

So, do not stop breast feeding, despite whatever others are telling you.

Breast feeding jaundice is more likely due to a) poor technique on breast feeding by the baby, meaning latching is not good that the baby is not getting enough milk. or, b) milk production is not sufficient. However, should you exclusively breast feed your child on demand and does not restrict him or her from the boobies, your body will produce enough milk for your baby, as the demand is always there. Important rule in BF: When there is demand, there is supply. 

I know breast feeding can be hard. I am with the 3rd child and I still cry when I feel like I fail in Bf. 

Each babies has their own ways and means.

With this one, I did stumble on sore and crack nipple. Only Allah knows how painful it was. 

I cried a bucket and I have fear for every time she nurses. 

But, this is something that I need to do, I have to do. I need to teach her how to latch properly, guide her in every way. eventually she gets it. 

Dont underestimate your baby. you will be amazed on how fast they can learn.

Back to the jaundice, Amal's level went up high more than the borderline level. 

So doctor prescribed her with phototherapy. 

As usual, we rented the UV Phototherapy machine and do it at home.

This is easier for me as we dont have to fork out money to go Private Hospital, or leave our baby in Government Hospital and pump milk and go there daily. (if no bed)

I had traumatic experience in government hospital during Ayra's jaundice time. 

HTAR did not have enough bed and I had to sit in front of her. I was about 3-4 days post birth.

Can U imagine my level of tiredness and exhaustion at that time? Moreover it was our first baby.

I am traumatized till now. 

Luckily our friend introduced us to this company which provides this cool machine.

It really helps us mothers during this confinement period and to attend to our jaundiced baby.

So, we called this company and the machine was sent on the same day.

We put Amal under the light and covered her eyes with the given eye patch. 

I only picked her up when she needed to be fed.

After 2 days, we took her to the clinic to get her bilirubin level checked. 

If it drops down significantly, then we can put it off.

You can contact Bluelite at www.bluelite.com.my.

Their price is also affordable comparing to private hospital hospitalization.

for 2016, we had to pay RM485 for 3 days (72 hours)

2 years ago, during Ayra's and Amna's time, it was about RM350 (i guess).

I googled and found another company offering the same service. 

Try this: Firefly Home Therapy (http://hometherapyy.com/)

Amal's level went down to the acceptable level but it is still quite haywire.

Going slightly up and down.

Hopefully nothing bad.

The Worrying Begins

There she goes. 

That sweet oh so sweet girl of mine, Amna.

We are truly blessed. Alhamdulillah..

I am thankful, grateful, to Him for these gifts. Dear Allah. 

U have given me soooo much and U have always been there for me.

And yet.

I am asking U for more. Off all the things that i am praying U for.. 

I mostly,badly ask U..to protect my children. Protect them from evil of the world and the devils. protect them from sickness and diseases.

Amna was about 6 months old. She has started rolling then and i was estatic that she was having the same progress as her big sis when Ayra was 6m. 

I remember the day vividly as i was patting her dry after her bath. She was actively kicking and moving her right hand and leg. And the left limb remained..stiff. Not moving.

I had that little voice inside of me. An alarm. But i bugged it off as i didnt want to think negatively unneccessarily.

She was kind of not well at that time. And soon she and Ayra were admitted due to bronchilitis.

I did tell the doc about her left limb but i was not too worried then. Doc suggested that she comes again when she's about 1yo. He didnt want her current state at that time to interfere with his concern.

I started to google and read. And cerebral palsy appeared to match her state. 

We brought her to urut and she got better.. She managed to roll again but not crawling.

I told myself if she still could not crawl by 10 months then we should be investigating more.

True enuf,she started to crawl when she was 10m. That was kind of late coz Ayra crawled at 6m. But then again, every child develops differently. 

At bout 11m, we brought her back to the doc. And doc really got worried. He kept on emphasizing that babies should not be having any preferences. Ie, she should be favoring her right limbs over the left. He strongly suggested for mri. 

We hold back and requested for a 2nd opinion. Thus, she is referred to neuropeads ppum. I wanted ppum simply because..well.. It's one of the best with the best expertise.

Today (29.1.15) was the day we went for her 1st check up in neuropeads ppum.
It was Amna's rezeki thay she was actually seen by a professor in neurpoeads. On the 1st day she was there. 

She was seen initially by M.O doing her master. So Amma was her case. And the prof was there to assist her. Basically, the prof was there to teach and we got the free lessons too.

 

But being a mom.. Despite knowing what i know (as a pharmacist) and understanding the terms or prognosis and what not.. I am still a mom. And she is my child.

I could not contain my emotion.

They suspected that she had a stroke.which led to her condition now.

She has improved her tones (probably because we took her for urut) but the stifness still present.

The stroke happened probably somewhere when she was 6m old.

And all i could think of.. Why i was not there to catch it? Could i actually catch it? How was she? Was that why she always creid franctically back then? 1001 questions and possibilites. What if.

And i am more afraid when they worry if it happens again. Oh allah. Please lord. Not her. Not them. Please please please..

Probably she has to be started on anticoagulant if results of investigation lead to infarction or etc. Aspirin? For babies?? Long term? And what in my mind was.. And the side effects of bleeding etc. I am paranoid. I am paranoid. I could not take it. Its too much. I broke down.

Broke down in front of the doctor and medical students.

She is my daughter. She is joyous. She is bubbly. She is happy. She is my hope my strength. My muse. My ever after. My bridge to jannah.

And insyaallah we can do this.

Im strong enough to handle this. We are strong enough to handle this.

“Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…”
(Qur’an, 2:286).

أُعِيذُكِ بِكَلِمَاتِ اللهِ التَّامَّةِ مِنْ كُلِّ
شَيْطَانٍ ، وَهَامَّةٍ ، وَمِنْ كُلِّ عَيْنٍ لَامَّةٍ - See more at: http://duas.com/dua/287/dua-seeking-the-protection-of-allah-for-children#sthash.cduuODoV.dpuf

أُعِيذُكِ بِكَلِمَاتِ اللهِ التَّامَّةِ مِنْ كُلِّ
شَيْطَانٍ ، وَهَامَّةٍ ، وَمِنْ كُلِّ عَيْنٍ لَامَّةٍ - See more at: http://duas.com/dua/287/dua-seeking-the-protection-of-allah-for-children#sthash.cduuODoV.dpuf

"I seek refuge in Allah with His total words from the evil Satan, from every poisonous animal and from the evil eye". (Bukhari)

O Allah, drive the misfortune away from me.

The Birth of Amna Nabeela

The Historic Day finally came!

3rd January 2014.

so she decided to become one of the 2014 batches. 

Alhamdulillah.. Praise to Allah. 

i have so many things to tell. words are pouring in my mind. but my hands are too slow to catch up and my eyes are constantly wandering towards my Amna. 

she is currently chilling under the UV light in our room. 

what? you didn't know UV is the new thing? haha

the story started on the beginning of 38th week.

i was already at unease with being pregnant at 38weeks, since Ayra was only 37 weeks.

i began to feel anxious, super duper tired, excited, scared. 

mixture of feelings were bottling up in me. 

it was hard not to know what to expect but at the same the previous experience was kind like reminding you of what you should be expecting.

at 38 weeks check-up, Dr N said i have dilated to 2cm. 

and i was happy. so, yeahh 2cm. it could not be that long to reach 4cm and so on right?

but doctor said it differs. 

some may take up to a week or so. it depends. 

owh well. okay.

doc said she has a feeling that i might pop out within that week itself. 

it was kind of a relief to hear that but i did not want to hope in vain.

Hub was excited too.

so, that week, with cuti selang 2 days, was kind of tiring for me and thankfully, 

Dr N gave me mcs to ease the stress and whatnot.

but still. i had works to settle and pass over. 

so, the mc was kind of like a pass for me to come and go as i please. 

i constantly had the contraction pain. but it was not unbearable. i could tolerate it. 

on the 1/1/14, we decided to go to the hospital just to check whether i have dilated more.

cos the night before i was unable to sleep and my contractions were few minutes apart.

but, before going to the hospital, i had a big craving for Baskin Robbins. 

enjoying my ice cream!

so we woke up early and had our breakfast in BR. 

hahahaha.

then off we went to send Ayra with her Nena.

in the hospital, the Bidan checked me and sure enough, the contractions were few minutes apart,

but i was still 2cm dilated.

and this is after 2 days.

oh man.

so we decided to go home and walk around.

and i walked a lot.

that evening, i found brown stain on my undies.

it was a mucus plug.

(never had that before)

i read that even with the mucus being unplugged (hentam saja sentence), 

it may take up to weeks for delivery to happen.

and so, i did not want to hope so much.

i went to work as usual the next day.

cleared off everything.

and i was actually lega to be on leave if let say i pop out later.

During lunch, told my boss bout the mucus plug and she was like 

'u shud go to the hospital! second child might not take too long. for all u know u have dilated more!'

that's her way of scaring me.

but i still was not convinced.

i didnt feel any contraction.

so after lunch, i continued settling off my work.

at around 3pm, suddenly i had a very terrible backache that actually left me breathless.

my uterus was tightening but the pain was actually at the back.

i didnt feel any pain during the contraction.

it lasted for about an hour. 

so at 4pm, i decided to go back.

called hub to come home asap and that i wanted to go to the hospital.

 informed my boss bout it and she texted Dr N to alert her. (they are good friends)

 upon VE, nurse informed me a disappointing news.

i was still 2cm dilated.

and to my amazement, when i was there, at the hospital, 

my contractions were.. gone.

zero.

Ya Allah.

but Hub decided to check me in the ward so that monitoring can be done, just in case.

that night, Ayra slept with her Nena.

so sadddd. to be away from her.

and that night, i prayed n prayed to Allah, to show me the way.

to show me whether i should induce, or just let baby find her own time.

i didnt know what  to do.

i was stuck.

my contractions were not so frequent and i could sleep soundly that night.

so the next morning, i thought:

so, i let Allah decide. just go with the flow.

if i am still 2cm, and doc advice to chill first, then i will.

when the DrN VE me that morning, she said i have dilated to 4cm. 

she suggested to break the waterbag to quicken the process and to induce. 

if i were to go out, i would surely be coming in today itself, 

since i have dilate to 4cm. which means i was in labor.

the waterbag itself seems fragile and will break anytime.

so, okay, i guess. here goes.

it all happened so quickly.

DrN broke the waterbag at about 9.40am.

and i immediately feel the contraction.

emptied my bowel and started to walk around the room to ease the pain.

Hub was rubbing my back. and we read ayat2 quran together.

i was strapped with the ctg to monitor my contraction and the baby's heart rate.

the contractions were strong at first, but it was bearable. i've felt the worst contraction during Ayra's time so i insisted on not being on epi or pethidine.

nurse started to drip me with pitocin but the line kept on failing to work.

kejap2 line block.

kejap2 drip stop.

kejap2 mesin drip stuck.

it was like Allah's plan of not letting me having pitocin at all.

cos i didnt want pitocin at first place. 

i was so scared of the side effects. well, the downfall of too much reading eh?

haha

as i was lying down on my left side, with my right foot bended over the left, there was a very sharp strong pain at the pelvic area. i didnt know what kind of pain that is. but whenever the pain comes, it did not reflected in the graphs. so it wasnt contraction pain. and it did not feel like one.

the pain was seriously extremely giler sakit okeh!

totally different from contraction.

i asked the nurse what pain is that.

nurse told me that's the pain of the baby trying to find her way out.

Ya Allah.

im not kidding when i tell u it is the most painful pain i have ever felt.

i dont know how to describe the feeling. 

it was so weird not having the contraction pain at all despite the pitocin being dripped into my vein.

but then again, the pitocin was only being dripped like few minutes.

i doubt it even worked looking at the rate it was being dripped.

there this one time i just could not tolerate the pain anymore.

so i decided to go for pethidine.

nurse checked me and i have dilated to 5cm at about 11.30am.

i was like.. 2 hours and 1cm progress?

bring on the drug!

but, boy was i wrong. i should just stick to drug free delivery.

in about half an hour, the pain became stronger and stronger.

i could not lie down,

i wanted to move

i wanted to squat.

i wanted to... pass motion!!

i told Hub to call the nurse.

to inform her that i need to berak.

it was funny cos when the nurse came, i was like:

nurse, nak berakkkkkk. sakitnyerrrr

that's when she checked i have fully dilated and in few minutes, doctor was in front of me, and popping my legs up and telling me to push when im ready.

but i told them i dont feel like pushing.,

i dont feel contractions at all.

so DrN told me to use the urge to berak as a que to push.

man, it was difficult.

it was like forcing yourself to berak when u have no poo to pass out.

i really have no way of telling u how painful the experience was.

to push her out without having contractions.

and toooo drowsy to push!

alas, the pethidine did its work.

only it was too late.

bahaha

but i could feel the baby's head at the door. waiting to come out.

 Allah sahaja tau perasaan waktu tu.

alhamdulillah, at 12.07pm, i delivered a beautiful baby girl safely.

she was placed onto my body to greet me.

but both of us was too dopped with pethidine to do more.

we smiled.

we exchanged salam.

i wanted her to find my nipple and have her first nursing experience, but she was sleepy.

and so did i!

so, there u go..

my little princess Amna Nabeela Muhd Hilmi:

and these are Allah's amanah to me and Hub:

semoga kami dapat membimbing anak2 ini ke jalan Allah.

Baby in the Blue

it has been quite tiring weeks.

it all started when we went for vaccination for Hub,me and Ayra.

insyaAllah, we are going for Umrah in the sacred place, Mekkah.

so, as a requirement for visa application, we must be 

vaccinated for meninggococcal. 

however, i could not find any literature saying chilldren below two should be 

vaccinated for meniggo. 

Mencivax-the vaccine being used in the DEMC, is not recommended for children below 2.

even the pediatricians in demc told me that it is not necessary.

so, in the end, only and Hub had the Mencevax,

whilst Ayra had an Influenza vaccination.

she has never ever had any trouble with vaccinations before.

i mean, throughout her growing up process, with all those wajib vaccination schedule, 

alhamdulillah, she has been strong all along.

no fever, no body aches.

plus, alhamdulillah, i have been blessed with a healthy child all along.

she has never had any runny nose, chesty cough, no flu.

she is strong.

i'd like to think of it as the benefit of a fully breastfed baby.

alhamdulillah, He is the most merciful.

but this time, it went the opposite direction.

influenza, of course is meant to prevent flu.

and what happened was, she had the flu!

yup, that night itself, she developed all the flu symptoms,

with cough, runny nose, body aches, fever.

she could not sleep well, wanting me to hold her tight and clinging on to me.

that's what she does when she's not well.

to hear her chest full of phlegm, and her not being able to cough it out

really troubled me and Hub.

we didnt know what to do.

of course, she was brought to the doc, but seeing her so inactive,

with that sorrowful eyes, and aching tears, vomitting out her foods and meds.

it broke my heart.

she had fever for about 7 days.

i did not sleep well. she liked to sleep on me and keep on nursing.

i would say, almost all the time, throughout the night.

this was not easy for me.

after a long day at work, and sleepless night, with constant feeding time,

i felt like my body was pulling off!

but, this was a test.

i told her so many times, when she was crying, 

as if asking me for help,

"Allah is testing you sayang. He wants you to be stronger.

sometimes, to be stronger, we have to feel the pain. if you can overcome 

all this, insyaallah you will be stronger and healthier."

i really hope she understood.

she wanted a constant hug from me.

she wanted to be with me all the time.

poor girl..

even her Nena was sad to see her so passive.

alhamdulillah, she is recovering.

the fever is gone, only the phlegm.

and very2 sticky one in the nose.

i do hope she gets better by the time for umrah.

 my darling baby looking tired. 

she was all quiet when she's sick.

no bubbly Ayra.

we really2 missed her cheeky happy old self.

that eyes.

it showed pain.

i suspected the side effect of the vaccination.

i read that it may cause fever, body ache, flu.

Alhamdulillah, praise to Allah,

once she is better, she hopped on the speed mode in no time:

(my mom sent me the images cos she was so happy seeing her granddaughter up and about)

 once her fuel is set to the fullest bar, she is ready to work it out!

pulling this and pushing that.

Ayra is on the job, yo.

 she felt the house needed to be rearranged.

according to her style of course.

 she made a tawaf around the gigantic bean bag 3 times.

practicing for the real tawaf for umrah, i suppose.

good girl.

gettin' some preparation done.

building up stamina.

and at home, she was back to helping us cleaning up cupboards.

we know she is okay when she can dance, sing and bubbly talk,

and she started to 'help' around in the house.

i love Ayra so much.

i pray Allah gives her good health always.

mommy loves you baby.

echo check

blogging from Ppum.

trying to get her to sleep

cos she needs to have echo done.

to see her heart.

the pressure.

in order to do echo,

we need her to be calm and relax.

otherwise we cannot see the heart structue and what not 

really well.

but...

even after a dose of chloral hydrate..

nope.

still active.

very very active.

ayra dearie..

selagi ayra x tido...

diorg tak nak buat echo..

nanti kite balik lambat..

jam..

waaaaaaaaa

Campak Palsu, pls dont touch me again

when we woke up today, i found this all over her body,

from head to toe.

it freaked me out.

we were worried of dengue.

with high fever and all.

furthermore, her occipital lymph node is swollen

(the lymph node at the back of the ear)

this indicates infection.

but she didnt have any fever anymore since yesterday morning.

a bit relieved.

yet still worry for the rash.

so went to the nearest Paediatric clinic nearby.

the doctor confirmed it was Campak Palsu

or Baby Measles or Roseola.

caused by  HHV-6 virus.

she assured nothing to worry about.

no need to slab on anything for her rash.

it will disappear within 2-3 days.

i got back, put her to sleep and start googling.

according to Mayo Clinic, it says:

'this generally mild infection is extremely common'.

according to emphower.com,

this disease, which also known as Sixth Disease,

is characterized by high fever, followed by pink-red raised or flat rash.

in Ayra's case, it's flat.

the rash appears when the fever abates.

it usually affects babies age 6- 24 months.

Along with a fever and rash, the child might also experience fatigue, irritability, decreased appetite, mild diarrhea, and swollen eyelids, says the Mayo Clinic.

so, yes Ayra showed symptoms as such:

fatigue (but still active!), irritability, 

decreased appetite, and i see her eyelids are bit swollen. 

my concern when she was having fever was seizure.

only Allah knows how scared i am.

but Alhamdulillah..so far, with His will, we managed to bring the 

temperature down in time..

medicinenet.com,

Roseola is spread from person to person, most likely by transfer of oral secretions.

hmm..

many people touch her. strangers even! and it bothers me so actually. 

when we walk, strangers without hesitation come and touch her cheek, her body, her leg. 

a note to people out there,

never touch someone's child sesuka hati.

u dont know how clean your hands are. 

did u poke your nose before that?

did u scratch your bud?

and have u washed your hands later?

when you flush the toilet, did u wash your hands after?

the germs definitely transfer to your hands!

and what about the bin? you touch the tong sampah and u didnt wash your hand.

then u forget and u touch baby's face.

god, it's driving me crazy.

yes, i am super duper hygienic mother,

overly concerns on the cleanliness.

especially when it comes to strangers touching her child.

sometimes i felt like wrapping her up in a breatheable plastic so no one can touch her.

plus, she likes to put things into her mouth.

that doesnt help at all.

when we were in Istanbul, the people there love her so much that they without hesitation, 

come and pinch her cheeks and kiss her!! 

kiss her!

-__-

we kept quiet and remained polite.

as soon as we got away, we took out the baby wipes,

and wiped her face and her body!

if only i can find these anywhere,

i'd put them on her strollers

or even use it as her bibs!

Prevention

Other than the usual good hygiene practices always recommended to decrease the spread of viral illness, no methods are available to specifically prevent roseola.

http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/Baby+measles

baby is awake.

so does the knight in me.

under the weather

Bambam is not feeling well.

she has been having high fever on and off.

luckily i am on leave for few days so i can be home and take care of her.

she is a day away from 11 months old.

throughout this 11 months of living, 

she rarely falls ill.

im pretty sure this is her 2nd time being ill.

i like to think she benefits from being fully breastfed baby.

all the antibodies that she's been getting.

proud mommy!

she has been down with fever for 4 days now.

on and off

we tried PCM. it didnt work.

we tried Brufen. she seemed better now.

i tried tepid sponging her but she took the towel and threw it.

she did that even in her sleep.

pfffft.

so hard.

how can mommy keep her temperature down???

we tried cooling her down by letting her play with water.

but she didnt want to.

well, she played. but only like 5 minutes.

then she wanted out.

and she is so cranky and clingy.

i understood her needs for manja-manja.

i mean, when we fall sick, we like to be pampered dont we.

furthermore, she doesnt want to eat as much as she used to.

i tried cooking lots of stuff

but makan sikit..then buekkk 

but Alhamdulillah, she doesnt stop breastfeeding.

that is the only thing that doesnt change.

as for now, she is sleeping soundly.

hopefully tonight she sleeps well.

"Dear Allah, please make her healthy and well..."

sweetness banned

today was Ayra's check up at Ppum..follow up for her heart condition.. she was diagnosed with a hole in her septal wall,or arterial septal defect.. and the pressure gradient on her aortic vessel was quite higher than normal...or what is called aortic stenosis.. it wasnt bad or anything, but it was something to be alarmed about. we've had our share of tears and nightmares, but Alhamdulillah all is well..

we requested to be reffered to Ppum as they have the best peadiatric cardiologist there and our status as a government servant entitled her to be fully covered financially. if let say anything worse should happen, we are ok.

so.. again, aalhamdulillah.. upon the first few check ups there, it was confirmed that she doing well. the hole has closed. it was most probably not even a hole, but a Patent Foramen Ovale. now it is closed..but still have to monitor the gradient. the last time checked, the pressure reading went down a lot.

today basically was to see her development.. she is growing by the book..active..no smurf color.. eating well..growing within the upper percentile..she can pick herself up by holding on to something. she can sit on her own, crawl, and just now, she could stand without holding on to anything. but only for few secs,then she fell. the next appointment will be when is 1y.o.. do an echo..

hubby n me took a day off. going there itself took us about an hour.the traffic was really bad. really2 bad. i hate the road.. and when we were there, as usual, waiting for the turn. albeit,it wasnt really bad for us. Allah eased our path there after a long stressful journey in the traffic. we found a parking easily. and the waiting time to see the specialist was less than 2 hours. so, alhamdulillah.. all is well..

after ppum, we went straight to Empire Shopping Gallery. jab kesihatan negeri selangor was doing a carnival on Kenali Ubat Anda: know your medicine. ayra met her ayah's friends and colleague..and we had lunch in Italliannies. she didnt want to eat her Hienz, so i gave her a taste of angle carbonara. she loved it! despite not having any teeth to chew, she was still able to enjoy the few small strands of pasta. and chewed with ger gum like a nenek.haha.. looks like Mummy has to start googling for new recipes, ayra has grown bored of her regular meal.

apart from having pasta, she had her tongue n tummy exposed to the sweetness of Tutty Frutty. oh my. i knew she would be hyper on sugar later.and boy how i was right. back home, three of us on the bed, mummy and ayah hoping to catch a nap before settling other things... but. but ayra just wont stop moving. she crawled on us. grabbed us by the hair, the nose, the skin. she smacked down on us, pull us, fell on us..lied down on us. pulled our shirt,nose and hair.climbed on top of us and showed her butt to our face, she would not stop m.o.v.i.n.g. yup. lesson learnt.

ayra, no more sweets till u are 20.

of cold and fever

have not been feeling well. so sudden. it started with sore throat then a flu. i thought it was nothing. managed to pull myself up every morning and lead a normal life.

too bad for last night. i infected ayra with my symptoms! she had fever in the middle of the night. i tried to stay away from her but she wanted her Mommy near. she likes to cuddle with me when she's going to sleep and like to bf when im around. so.. probably that's how she got it.

hubby and me could not sleep well. after giving her Paracetamol which she did not take full amount, we tepid sponged her head and body. she was not sleeping well either. merengek sbb demam.. i felt so bad. like i gave her the disease. im so sorry..

so today, took 2 hours off in the morning. still had to go to work cos there was a deadline of statistic submission that i have to submit. really2 crappy. it was so crappy that i cried. my face and body were hurting, yet i had to settle everything fast. konon rajin. huhu..

now both of us are feeling better.. she is asleep now.. and im wearing a face mask when im around her.

hubby is preparing dinner downstairs. so sweet..

tomorrow is our 2nd anniversary. xoxoxo