recalculating the work life

I am rethinking on my work life.

like a new air to breathe.

to explore.

not that i hate my current work..

the politics stress me out, and with me being pregnant, the last thing i want is to be stressed out.

i know this work politics can be everywhere, any place u go.

but when you are sucked down into it, and it leaves your performance on the roll,

u just might want to get the hell out of there.

there is something just not worth staying for.

and i need to learn to move on.

i have always wanted to be SAHM.

or WAHM.

to be able to put my husband and children foremost than everything else.

to allow work to revolve around them, to adjust time around them.

My Mom has been a HUGE help, but 3rd one will leave her more tired than ever.

i cannot do that to her.

yet.

i need to think of the financial status.

we are doing okay, but we need to keep it at that par.

so, what can i do?

besides job hunting, what can i do?

like, what i really love to do?

to indulge my inner thoughts on my dream jobs, i would love to do something related to:

a. baking and cooking

b. books and books

c. writing (secretly doing so since small)

d. shopping and fashion (but no talent watsoeva) 

how do u overcome your fear in pursuing your dream?

 

working mom

it's friday, and today i cant go back to have lunch with Ayra like i always do with her lately. 

i put the time to make it like a quality time between Ayra and Mommy, 

since Amna has taken a lot of attention away from her big sister.

i dont want to lose the bond, the touch, the warmth 

of her being with me.

she is getting more and more  closer to her Ayah.

well, makes sense since Ayah is the cool one and Mommy is like a cop.

ayra has been a super duper good child, good sister.

she loves her adik sooo much.

she did not request to BF, leaving it to her adik solely.

she understands that it is her adik's time to bf, 

and she has got her ample time doing it previously.

good girl.. she makes it easy for me.

alhamdulillah.

but tiredness comes in everyday.

all those work in the office. the brain cells utilized, not to mention the nerves and muscles used for.. everything. hahaha. it is drowning me in my own pool of tiredness.

i dont get enough sleep. fully bf and pumping while working. it drains more energy than usual.

 once a while of cos i complaint.

im not a saint

not a robot.

even thought of taking ritalin ok!

but takut addicted, so no. well, a pharmacist should know better!

i dont even have any idea of what to write, even though a lot has been going on.

a lot.

im overwhelmed!

hahaha

but so far, alhamdulillah, all is good.

i cannot thank Allah more. He gives me the strength, the will, the wisdom.

i now prioritize my time more efficiently.

i will stocks of food (dinner) every weekend. 

so, whenever i come from work, i dont have to cook.

i cook for 4-5 meals every weekend, and freeze them for a day's meal. 

at home, i just take it out, and thaw it.

then i heat it on the stove, add in veges, then im done,.

while heating i can settle many things, while attending to the kids.

even Hub helps to prepare as it is soo convenient. 

not only we save money, but they are also clean. 

i am a bit paranoid of those foods outside, esp in stalls etc.

so, yeah. thats my daily routine. weekly routine.

prioritizing in giving the best to my family.

while being a working mom.